I have been blog-hopping for both the OWOH thing, and also for the Bead Soup Blog Party... and I've been so happy to see all these interesting blogs, and inspired by so many people creating so many different kinds of things... people getting published in magazines, and writing books, and selling tutorials and teaching classes... and I've been following some friends on Facebook who have been in Tucson selling what looks like hundreds (thousands?) of beads, beautiful handmade beads, the amount of which I have yet to make in all my years of bead-making... all these people living creative, productive, brave artist lives...
and I feel... inadequate.
I don't know how you do it. Many of you also have children. More of them than I do even. Many of you also suffer from health problems that sap your energy. Many of you work full time jobs in addition to being artists. And yet, you still create. Often. And beautifully.
I have not been able to find, or, make the time. It's been a very tough year. One thing after another. I don't know how I'm going to do it. I've been trying to find other ways to feed my muse - ways that fit into this life I'm living now - ways to be creative that fill the gap - but it's not the same as melting glass - these things don't make my heart sing the way the glass and fire does.
But. I'm inspired. By this post by Kesha Bruce, and by all of you. To see you doing it, shows me that it's possible. So. Thank you. I, too, will find a way.
(Inspiration Mind Map by Paul Foreman)
Boy, can I relate to this post! Thanks for sharing. And thanks, too, for linking to the comments by Kesha Bruce. I reeeeally needed that right now.
ReplyDeleteIf it makes you feel any better, you are one of the artists I follow and hope to be more like one day. You make beautiful beads that don't look like anyone else's. You've got a style all your own. You've figured out how to get your art in front of the right people and are getting sales. You find time to blog and share photos of your idyllic studio and a little bit of yourself, as well. Yeah, you pretty much rock! ;-)
Hang in there through the rough patch. As they say, "this too shall pass." At least that what I say to that girl in the mirror... ;-)
Pam, I know you will find a way, because you can't not find one. You and your blog played a major part in me taking up lampwork at all, about 4 years ago.
ReplyDeleteI read your posts and oogled your beads, and I thought 'if she can manage to take care of a child, a job, a house and all that life stuff, and still make beads - then so can I!' And so I did :)
I too feel inadequate when watching people preparing for the big shows, but - luckily(?) we don't have those around here, so I just do markets once in a while, and hope for the best.
I'd have to say I agree with Ellen - you rock!
Wow, I thank you for this post and link to Kesha! It does seem "greener" on the otherside sometimes...to solve that problem I am trying to set time aside for me to make jewelry or read about it, each week. That was my new year resolution. "Life" does get in the way sometimes, but setting time aside for me does help me get thru "life"! You are very gifted and I hope you will not give up on your art...you are an inspiration to us all!
ReplyDeleteHi Pam, I'm new here. I found you through Millie's post. It's hard not to compare ourselves to others. I have found that I had to stop following some blogs, temporarily, because I was comparing myself to their progress and it was too depressing. Do what you need to do. I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to take a little break from blogging, if even for a day or two. Blogs are like the "Christmas letter" where everything seems perfect in the life of the person sending it. Just something to keep in mind. I found your post to be so sincere and heartfelt ... your work is gorgeous and remember that you're making artwork ... that is obvious to me!
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad to have found you...and you are doing what I am just beginning....and this post spoke to me SO much....and at just the right time....thanks!
ReplyDeleteLoved this post! For myself the comments from Kesha and you were encouraging more than I can say and I totally relate to the way you feel. It might make you smile just a little though to know that for those of us who are even newer to making a business out of our passion (ME) that I look at YOU and your 503 sales on Etsy and fabulous blog and aspire to get THERE before tackling the "bead rock star" status. Thanks for being such a great model!
ReplyDeletePam even after 14 years of making glass beads I still feel like I just don't measure up. I think we all doubt our creative selves it's part of the artist makeup. I usually turn to friends who's work I respect and they lift me out of it.
ReplyDeleteI think your work is beautiful!
i feel i'm in a similar place. thanks for posting this; i really needed it.
ReplyDeleteI REALLY appreciate all of your comments - thank you for trying to make me feel better! You did, and do.
ReplyDeleteIt's nice to hear that I've inspired some of you to get started, and I'm sorry to hear of others in similar places... maybe we can figure it out together.
For me, it's less of a muse thing, or a confidence thing... it's a time thing, an energy thing, a balance thing. How to be a good mother and still be selfish enough to find/take the time to follow my art.... That is what I don't know how to do. And yet, I know I'll be a better mother if there is balance and I'm happy and filling up that creative part of me that requires (not wants, needs) it...
My wonderful husband is giving me tomorrow - a mental health day - to spend in the studio - he will be working from home and taking over the homeschool duties for one day. It's not enough, but it's a start.
xoxo
pam
Balance is the biggest challenge I face in my life too, Pam. It's like an eternal plate spinning performance, isn't it? There are so many things on my list that in reality will never ever get accomplished (with me, it's usually deep housecleaning, home improvement, etc.). It helps to take a hard look at all of the competitors for our time and prioritize them, so that the precious time we do get is spent on things that matter the most to us.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed the Kesha Bruce blog, and thank you for sharing it. I think the only way to gauge ourselves is against our own goals and constraints, not against what others may or may not be accomplishing. We are too often our own worst critics. Fortunately we can take inspiration from our fellow artists to help us when we're feeling inadequate.
Your work is wonderful and I know you'll find a way to engage with your muse.