Or is it amber? Or red? Crimson? Whatever. I'm doing it to myself... there is no pressure, no hurry, no need to get my nickers in a bunch... but there it is anyway... that stress that is going to do me in if I don't knock it off.
Yesterday we took the spare beds up to the new house and made them up. The old ugly futon will be our couch for the duration... the most horrible wicker coffee table sits in the middle of my beautiful living room making things very shabby, with absolutely no chic to be had anywhere. Furniture from before we were married, odd, ugly pieces that just had never made it out of the house like they should have years ago, but now proving useful again. And so we decided if Luke didn't have his school Valentine's Day party tomorrow, we would spend Tuesday day *and* night up at the new house.
So here I am today, finding out that the party is today after all, and so running around like a mad woman - hunting down that espresso machine I want for the new kitchen, an extra mattress pad for Luke's bed, some curtains, a shower curtain, a bath mat... I don't know what else. Oh yes, Valentines day gifts. And calling the garbage service to set that up, and the cable and most importantly, the internet, because I can not live without that. I really can't. I've already looked up the coffee shops in Edmonds that have Wi-Fi, just in case. Just in case what? I sell a necklace? In case I think the sky will fall if I can't check my live journal and my forums? Yeah, it will too. Don't even try to tell me otherwise.
Shopping done, I have yet to pack. The clothes, the food, the dog beds, the cat, the cat food the dog food, do I need the cat box too? Or will he use Ambers'? What is he going to do when he finds a cat in his new house? Will he be ok with that? The computer... and... do I need the printer too? And what about my painting and art stuff? And all the beads and clay I've collected after they were packed and moved and unpacked up there already?
And after the packing, I've got cleaning - to leave this house sparkling, and then we drive away... and not come back. Well, we will be back, but what if tonight is the very last night we sleep in this house? Just like that, my home for 9 years, the only place I ever lived in for more than a couple of years at a time... an era really - a huge chunk of my life, all over and moved on. I know it will be ok. Unless it isn't. In which case, my bed is still here waiting for us - I can come back home if I need to. At least for now.