366: Day 75

more rain. more wind. a little sunshine. no rainbows.

366: Day 74

A study in moss. And raindrops. And tiny things. And color, and black and white. 

366: Day 73

Three good things. Huh. Three? Let's see. The sun came out today, finally. It also snowed, and rained. I spent some time talking with a friend about a possible road trip this summer. One more... one more... well. My husband made it safely over the pass in all the bad weather, that's a good thing for sure. 

Beyond Layers: Black & White

It was just too rainy to go outside and play today... so I didn't. But I did go through some photos looking for something to play inside with, to turn b&w. I don't hate b&w. But I'm really into this photography thing for the color.

366: Day 72

Rain, rain, go away. I do not like the time change, and my back hurts. Today is a whiny day, can you tell?

Beyond Layers Class Day 17: Fear

Today we are supposed to list the fears we have faced, and the rewards of having pushed through them.

Ug. That feels really personal. Why? I have no secrets. I guess that means there is some shame in having fears in the first place for me. Something to think about. Or ignore. 

I'm good at ignoring. I like to push on through, like a stubborn bull, just get to where I want to go. Or sit and wait for a chance to flit through, like... a scared rabbit? No, like a busy bird, maybe. One or the other, it depends on the situation. But either way, I don't like to reflect on this kind of thing, or the past, or how I got to where I am. I'm always, always, looking forward. It feels much better for me. Sometimes, I manage to be in the moment, but usually, I'm looking forward. Onward. Away from.... maybe. Probably. 

It doesn't matter, as long as I'm not in that place of not being able to move forward. I've been there. Of course I have. There are things in my past that are hard and could have ruined a life forever. I don't think about them anymore. There are other things that were hard, that I'm so grateful we survived, like a preemie baby with vision and speech issues, who is now an amazing boy who reads a new book almost every other day and never stops talking. And autoimmune disease, which, thankfully, after too many years, is under control now that gluten is out of our lives. (It is amazing, actually, how much fear was released with the gluten. There is a whole new brain buzz of happiness and contentment, and serenity and peace and possibility that happens when gluten goes away. It's chemical. You should try it. No, really, you should.  YOU. I would shout it to the world if I could, it's that amazing.) 

There is the usual stuff... job losses, and other illnesses. Deaths in the family, so much pain, dragged out, fear that it would only get harder before it was over, that it would wreck the lives of the care-givers in the family... family issues and relationship issues. People you miss. People you wonder if you will ever see again. Major world events that can suck you in and make you afraid to cross a bridge or travel or drink the water. The best thing for that is to filter the news of course, and figure out what the agenda behind the fear message is... so much manufactured fear in the world that we could do without. Imagine what the world would be like without all *that* kind of fear being spewed at us daily?

And then there is Alzheimer's. Alzheimer's. There will always be Alzheimer's. The big elephant in our closet, maybe. We've got it on all sides... 4 direct links on three branches of the family tree. That's a big fear, especially knowing personally what it is and what it does to a family. But we deal. We donate money whenever we can to research. We take our vitamins, we eat right, we hope for the best. Create new memories every day. Because sometimes that's all you can do. The best you can. 

The most freeing thing? In recent memory... was when my grandmother died. It's sad. I miss her so much. I wish I'd been able to visit her before she died... but not having to worry about what was next, how much worse was it going to get? To know that she was no longer is sick, it was a relief. And I immediately started creating again. In her honor, at first, and in mine, now as I keep going. She was an amazing artist, and she was always busy. Busy busy busy. Until she wasn't herself any more. So hard to watch. Much better to live as much and as well as you can, while you can. 

Moving forward. Every day. Sitting around worrying just makes you sick. Makes me sick, I know this. Worry is a killer. I come from a family of worriers... and I remind myself often: "Worry is just focusing your attention and energy on what you don't want."  It's much better to think what you DO want and reach forward to that with your thoughts. Moving forward. Always. Eventually, anyway, even if you have to throw yourself a little pity party for a day or two...or longer if you can't help it... but you always get back to the moving forward bit. You have to, otherwise, what is the point?  See, I don't like to think about this stuff. It just is. You get through it. Or you don't. But you can't dwell or it sucks all the life out of you. It's a choice. But the more you live, the more you know what you have control over and what you don't. That changes things too, doesn't it? Just knowing? 

Some quotes on fear I've collected that ring true to me:

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do. 

Eleanor Roosevelt

You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you.

Eric Hoffer

I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.

William Allen White

Fears are educated into us, and can, if we wish, be educated out.

Karl Augustus Menninger

Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will.

James Stephens

Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.

Dale Carnegie

Try a thing you haven’t done three times. Once, to get over the fear of doing it. Twice, to learn how to do it. And a third time to figure out whether you like it or not.

Virgil Thomson

The enemy is fear. We think it is hate; but, it is fear.

Gandhi

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark, professionals built the Titanic.

Unknown

"Life is like a good black and white photograph, there's black, there's white, and lots of shades in between." 

Karl Heiner

And here is a photo to go with, looking back in the dreary rain, kind of fitting for the above post? In black and white. We will be working on black and white photos this week. 

Before and After

I'm still so amazed about this whole post-processing/texturizing photos thing... how did I even discover it? I can't remember, it's a whirlwind... and has happened so fast. I think I was trying to make photo collages... oh yes, it started with the iPhone apps, and led to one thing after another. There is still so much I want to do, but I find myself getting caught up in the processing details... the "What if I do this?" and "What if I do that?". But I'll get there. There is definitely not enough time in the day, and way too many options and things to do with each photo.

I love the before and afters. Sometimes, the before is so hum-drum and imperfect... and yet the texture and processing can just make it into something worth looking at.

And sometimes I think, the photo is just fine the way it is...that doesn't happen very often, and it always surprises me when it does, probably because so many of my photos come out blurry or exposed wrong...

Like this one...this tortoise shell. I can't think of a thing that would improve upon it. Wouldn't it be fun to have a pet tortoise?

366: Day 71

Good things: no rain, much-needed Costco run done, a quiet day.

366: Day 70

Three good things... dinner out... a heating pad for the back... and... giggling over the first Harry Potter movie. 

366: Day 69

Rainy, grey, and the day got away from me and my camera. This is the best I got, on my iPhone... and no Fence Friday either. Oh well!

Art of Texture Secrets Class - Week 1

OK! I think I'm caught up now, and I've learned a ton! My head is spinning... blurring, curves, selective blurring for faces to match the texture tones... good stuff!

I've got versions and versions of this image. Can't pick a favorite. Can you?

Two versions of this one (this lesson overlapped with Beyond Layers):

And then I took Luke's face out of texture and kept the tone. Better! Before and After:

Beyond Layers Day 16: Whisper

OK, wow, when it comes together easy and wonderful... it's so much better when you just keep trying and tweaking and trying and it still doesn't work. I tried to use Kim's recipe for whisper on a couple of shots... but I just didn't like it for my close up shots... I think it works great on her photos where a lot of the image can be blurred out but I didn't love it on big florals which is all I have right now... and then I happened on this, and I feel it has the same whispery feeling, and I love it... so I'm stopping here and moving on. I think "whisper" is also one of the lessons in The Art of Texture Secrets class, so, two birds with one stone here. Yay!

Two layers of KK's Happy Heart, and one of Embrace, a pioneer woman's action "Soft and Ethereal", and that's really it, aside from shooting in RAW and tweaking it in there to get the colors to pop first. You can see the popping one in yesterday's blog post below. Thanks for looking!

366: Day 68

Today's image is one I've been trying.... not too hard, as I've had very little time today, but still, trying too hard... I like it better when it just comes together... to follow Kim Klassen's whisper recipe... and I still don't have it... but there's always tomorrow. I did, at least, catch the full moon again, I think I have it down. I should still pull out my remote and try that so that I can get it a little sharper. Another night. And one more that I love, some plants I bought today at the grocery store.

Art of Texture Class Day 1

I signed up for another of Kim Klassen's texture classes... I'm already behind... I think this is what we were supposed to do for day one? I'm not sure. I may need to go over the lesson again, and try a different kind of image.

This is my finished image:

 This is my original:

366: Day 67

One good thing: saving a chicken from Gape Worm. Another good thing: Seattle Sounders win! And also, Trader Joe's Mint Chocolate Covered Espresso beans. 

About this image: 3 hard boiled eggs, shot in RAW, two layers of Kim Klassen's textures, Happy Heart and Revolution, a Pioneer Woman B&W Beauty action... and a few other tweaks.

Texture Tuesday

I almost missed Texture Tuesday! A layer of Kim Klassen's Happy Heart and another of Revolution.

366: Day 66

300 Days to go. Huh. Who knew I was going to take it all this far in 66 days? I'm figuring out shooting in RAW now as well as shooting in Aperture mode. My brain hurts just a little bit.

I got a great moon shot tonight. I'm so happy.

And it was bright and sunny today. More happy.

Beyond Layers Class, Day 15

Resistance... and "Whisper"... that's what Beyond Layers was about in yesterday's class... getting past the resistance, what stops us from making art, from being... ourselves...whatever.. and a prompt to create around the word "whisper"... Well, I thought all day about "whisper, while telling myself that I was actually doing pretty well about getting past resistance... lately... and then, the moon came out, with wispy clouds... and I thought "Hey!" and went to shoot it... only to be disappointed once again about the stupid bright circle on black that I always get when trying to shoot the moon.

Duh. Why keep doing the same old thing, expecting different results? So I looked it up: How to Take a Great Picture of the Moon? and there it was... the thing I'd been resisting... learning to use the manual controls on my camera. So, I figured it out. Sort of. But then a cloud came through, bringing snow... and this was as good as I got. It's my "Whisper" image for class... Thursday Kim will have some new "whisper" recipe for us to try, I'm looking forward to it.

366: Day 65

hmn... interesting. I figured out perspective today... from watching this tutorial over the weekend: John Derry Tutorial on preparing an image in Photoshop for Painter - isn't it amazing what's available to learn on the Internet these days?

Our hawk was back and I snapped these shots from an odd angle... here is the first one before I realized I could "fix" it to make it look more like it's supposed to.

And then I had that "ah-ha!" moment... and tried to to what John had done with the building in his tutorial... and wow! Look! Isn't that better?!

Beyond Layers Class, Day 14

Last week's lesson was actually two lessons. The first was a video showing how to convert a photo to black and white and then add back in a pop of color. I did several. Of course.

The second lesson was how to make brushes... and how to save a set of them to share. I decided to make some brushes from some old vintage public domain images I've found. And I'm sharing: just click on this link to get them!

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/65470702/PamShareVintageBrushes.abr

and then there was this image, I made a brush for this too, but then lost it before I saved it. Oh well!